Droolwood
aka David, Phreeform
The moment of David's birth was accompanied by
portentous events: A woman in Evanston, Illinois saw her
refrigerator turn upside down and vibrate at such a speed that it
disintegrated into its component molecules. Also, in Kyoto, a
two-headed calf was revealed to have two anuses as well, in fact,
it was discovered to be two completely separate calves that had
been glued together by piss-drunk Zen Buddhist priests.David discovered his powers on a breezy summer night while watching the Miss Howard Stern Beauty Pageant on pay-per-view. The first power is a complete disassociation of brain from body, enabling his mouth to run without sustenance nor oxygen for indefinite periods of time while his brain reads a book and harasses women. The second power is a flawless memory for esoteric and useless facts, combined with a filthy imagination, which usually results in psychological pain for the unfortunate recipient. The third power involves a wooden stick and is available on a for-rent basis.
David's main ambition is to form a cult based on Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, minus every male save himself. Joining the JLS is undoubtedly a step in the right direction. Also, the attraction of inflicting pain on total strangers cannot be denied. David would like to thank WVBR Radio, the Muses, the letter G and his bright, shiny, rear end.
The Joe is midway between multiple personalities.
Ask for him again when mental renovation is complete. If you see
him running naked through the streets with a fire extinguisher
taped to his penis be sure to say hello.