Krissy 80: Rob? F T F O I: ya? Krissy 80: you awake? F T F O I: yes, why? Krissy 80: because you've been tied up since Sunday. F T F O I: ::looks down @ self:: AAAAAHHHH! F T F O I: how the HELL did THAT happen? F T F O I: ::double-takes the self-check:: WHAT'S with the DRESS????? F T F O I: Where are my pants??? Krissy 80: ::looks up and down at Rob:: ya got me. all I remember is you yelling "I am the Queen of Hearts!" and then passing out in here. F T F O I: I don't remember yelling ANYthing. F T F O I: I remember...wait, no, I DON'T remember at all... Krissy 80: what the fuck were you taking that night? F T F O I: ::rob's ego walks in and collapses in tears, gets up, leaves:: what night? F T F O I: Sunday? F T F O I: today is...thursday, right? I've been out for three days? Krissy 80: the night of the party....... wait a minute... we didn't have a party. F T F O I: okay, so there WAS no party...erm... F T F O I: all i remember is dreaming something funky that looked like PaRappa the Rapper... Krissy 80: Rob... you worry me... all the time, in fact... but this was just weird. F T F O I: No, weird is this tacky outfit that died with Cindi Lauper's career. F T F O I: so why the hell am I WEARING it? Krissy 80: um... you were singing a Spice Girl song..... F T F O I: x_x zzz.... F T F O I: ::wakes back up:: Krissy 80: hello? Krissy 80: you okay? F T F O I: I'm awake! ::checks self:: AAAAHHHH! it wasn't a dream!!! Krissy 80: wow.. I didn't know you could tattoo yourself in your sleep... F T F O I: you CAN'T!!! F T F O I: whoa...tattoo???!!! Krissy 80: whoa.... maybe you did that when awake... there IS a place down the road.... F T F O I: ::exasperbatedly:: what are you talking about? Krissy 80: actually, it's not really a place, just a guy named Boris..... I must say, he does good work. Krissy 80: see... look at the detail on that butterfly.... F T F O I: erm...butterfly? F T F O I: where? Krissy 80: the one next to your navel. near the sunflower. Krissy 80: which is excellently rendered. F T F O I: ::looks:: ::closes eyes and hopes it will all go away:: Krissy 80: ::backs away:: Krissy 80: umm.... nice hair? F T F O I: you know my hair's mediocre on its best...days... omigod, what did you do to my hair..? Krissy 80: me? I didn't do anything. I've been busy all week. Krissy 80: but it's a nice shade of blue. and purple. F T F O I: ::scans for a mirror:: Krissy 80: and that tint of red. Krissy 80: there's a mirror over there ::points over to the frilly, pink dresser:: F T F O I: n...no...noooo NOOOOOO!!!! Krissy 80: ::continues to back away:: Krissy 80: ::heads toward the door:: F T F O I: ::rob's ego walks back in, armed to the teeth:: Krissy 80: hello. come to save the day? F T F O I: ::points a PERTICULARLY large gun @ lampbane:: Krissy 80: what did I do? F T F O I: not hardly. This insolent affront to the likeness and personage of Masochrist is intollerable. Krissy 80: yeah, and how's shooting me, who did absolutely nothing, gonna help the situation? F T F O I: ::Masochrist opens up the safeties on his guns:: ::empties a full magazine into rob:: F T F O I: ::Masochrist speaks:: it's not. Krissy 80: oh. well then. F T F O I: but getting rid of the problem, well, that's easy. Krissy 80: that's gonna leave a mark. Krissy 80: I'm not cleaning that up. F T F O I: I'm takin' over. F T F O I: let the woss rot. Krissy 80: fine then. F T F O I: ::storms out:: Krissy 80: but the smell is intolerable. and it ruins a perfectly good carpet. ::calls after him:: hey!!! asshole!! F T F O I: ::turns, looks back:: what? you're not glad I spared your insignificant life? Krissy 80: You couldn't really kill me anyway. You just ruined a perfectly good shirt. ::looks at the corpse:: I can't believe it. Krissy 80: ::screams at the sky:: I LIKED that shirt!!!!! Krissy 80: goddammit!!! F T F O I: ::does a COMPLETELY needless 235-degree arm-spin into a shot from his 9mm pistol:: ::grazes lampy's arm:: Krissy 80: ::shrugs it off, then kicks the body a little:: dammit. F T F O I: fuck the shirt. hell, literally for all i care. Krissy 80: ::sighs, then grabs the corpse's arms and drags it to the lab:: maybe we can pretend it's Bio 2 allover again. ::stops for a minute, thinks, then continues dragging:: and maybe clone the shirt. F T F O I: ::shoots her hands off the body:: you will NOT experiment with my body! Krissy 80: And I thought you didn't care. :-p F T F O I: I might yet find a way to fix what's been done. F T F O I: the body you leave for me. Krissy 80: ::grabs the body again, and hustles to the lab:: then do it in there. I have to clean the carpet. F T F O I: ::shrugs:: Krissy 80: ::drops the body in the lab, grabs some carpet cleaner, and gets to work:: yuck. ::sprays some gunk on the rug, shrugs, and leaves it like that:: Krissy 80: ::sits on the couch to watch Leno:: F T F O I: ::stares at the body he once inhabited:: shit. F T F O I: ::searches the HQ for the security cam tapes:: Krissy 80: that reminds me.... the tapes had a little accident. Krissy 80: actually, it was the machine..... F T F O I: ::checks the time signatures on the vaulted tapes:: those bitches...fucking using the same three tapes over ! F T F O I: ::calls from the vault:: what machine? Krissy 80: the tapes got shredded in the VCR.... I think it was that candy battle that did it... the sprinklers short-circuited the electronics. F T F O I: ::runs out of the vault:: ::shoots the lenses off all the security cams still active:: ::takes the tapes out of them:: Krissy 80: ::looks at Masochrist:: why are you doing that? F T F O I: ::laughs:: F T F O I: you have no idea what the interns did, do you? Krissy 80: what interns? we don't have interns. Krissy 80: hello? F T F O I: oh, but we DO have interns. F T F O I: remember? F T F O I: since two weeks ago. Krissy 80: no. Krissy 80: I don't remember. F T F O I: they don't get paid, and they take care of the boring stuff, like random repairs and security. Krissy 80: No, I don't remember. I remember a short, stocky, bald man named George. Or was that Seinfeld? Krissy 80: anyway, what's with the tapes? they should have the last three or four days on them. F T F O I: ::shrugs:: don't give a crap either way, but i saw interns. at least, they said they were interns. but they've been re-using the same tapes, so I've cut the recording short, so that the stuff from this week doesn't get taped over. F T F O I: I'm going to watch them. And then I'm going to hunt and kill the guilty parties. Krissy 80: um... whatever. ::grabs a tape, puts it in the new VCR:: umm.. ::two interns appear on screen, humping on the coffee table:: oh, gross!!! ::pulls her drink off the table:: F T F O I: ::eyes fill with blood:: the interns die now. Krissy 80: ::the picture glitches out, and the tape suddenly switches over to Tuesday's Buffy episode:: hey, I taped that for my mother! Krissy 80: but I didn't see the other part.... Krissy 80: ::shudders:: F T F O I: ::tosses lampy a gun:: we have to kill us some poser interns. Krissy 80: I should burn that table. Why didn't they use the couch.... unless.. ::shudders again:: Krissy 80: nice gun. ::blows a hole in the table:: F T F O I: ::nods:: ready? they're probably in the back of the HQ, since we've already been around the front side of it. Krissy 80: sure... how can I trust you? F T F O I: I've got no god-damned body. And thanks to these so-called interns, I'll never know who took it from me. Krissy 80: um... you shot it? F T F O I: You can trust me to kill them. Maybe we'll learn something, too F T F O I: like fucking hell I was the one. The damage was done already. permanent damage. Krissy 80: what was permanent about it? with today's medical technology, nothing's permanent. F T F O I: hell with that fake crap. F T F O I: The issue now is the interns.