Krissy 80: Renie, I really think I should rebuild you. DoNotExist: Yeep. Well, you can try... Krissy 80: ::decides it's time to build a better Renie:: DoNotExist: too easy... Krissy 80: ::picks up the bloody carcass and brings it to the lab:: Krissy 80: ::rummages around in the drawer and pulls out a handful of safety pins, some Construx, needle and thread, and a staple gun:: Krissy 80: ::takes a piece of jawbone in her hand, and fits it to Renie's face:: hmm..... we may have a problem here... no. not at all. ::gets out the crazy glue:: Krissy 80: Renie? are you there? DoNotExist: blue Krissy 80: ::pokes Reen:: blue? blue?? oh. hey! ::goes back to the drawer and finds some blue crayons:: DoNotExist: I am dead. I speak in blue. Krissy 80: oh. but I had a revelation. ::takes the blue crayon and uses it to fill in the cracks in Renie's shattered skull:: maybe it's risky, but it's hard to find genuine bone at this hour. DoNotExist: Come on, I'll look dern silly. Krissy 80: you'll be fine. this is the bone, not your skin. ::injects Renie with an experimental goo:: DoNotExist: I do not trust you. Let me talk to my plastic surgeon first. Krissy 80: who's that? DoNotExist: Oh, fine, I don't have a plastic surgeon... if I did, would I look like this? I'll get my ear, nose, and throat doctor... I've got at least one of those left... sorta. Krissy 80: don't worry, you'll be fine. ::takes a piece of bone and throws it into the deluxe kitchen clone-o-matic she bought the previous week:: DoNotExist: Moth. Krissy 80: ::Ding:: it's done! ::pulls out a whole new jaw for Renie:: I don't think the crayon would be so good. It might melt in high temperatures. Krissy 80: the goo should be working by now. you should feel numb and giddy. DoNotExist: Yeep. Krissy 80: ::uses a pair of tongs to pull off the remaining pieces of jaw, and drops them in a tray:: DoNotExist: Ugh. Krissy 80: ::attaches the new jaw with crazy glue and Construx pieces, then sculpts the joints with blue wax:: Krissy 80: ::then proceeds to glue Renie's ear and side of face back together:: I won't attach these yet. Maybe Danielle can do it. We have to build you a bionic ear. DoNotExist: Ear... Krissy 80: ::uses NASA plastic to rebuild Renie's neck:: now... you need a skin graft! DoNotExist: Plastic neck? Krissy 80: NASA plastic neck. DoNotExist: Mmm. Krissy 80: it's very strong plastic. probably stronger than the original bone. but then, as a CK model, ANYTHING'S stronger than the original bone. DoNotExist: Dammit, I am not a CK model. Krissy 80: you were. now you're dead. same thing. DoNotExist: I was not, at the time of my death. I inconspicuously reverted weeks ago. Krissy 80: you still have the bone structure. after all, why else would your face shatter before the 'might' of an anthropomorphic personification? DoNotExist: But he had GUNS. Krissy 80: anthropomorphic. DoNotExist: The guns were anthropomorphic? Krissy 80: ::places a skin graft on Reen, which automatically begins to react to the experimental goo:: yes. your CK persona has no immunity to it, though. DoNotExist: I am NOT my CK persona! Krissy 80: delusional. ::tsk tsk:: hmm.... ::digs through the drawer and happens upon an extra bionic ear:: you aren't? then how could I do this? ::pokes Renie in the tummy, causing her to bruise:: DoNotExist: Ow! I've always been that way! Krissy 80: look at the color of it. no one bruises like that. ::attaches the neato bionic ear from Intel:: DoNotExist: *I* do. Krissy 80: i think your neck is done. ::prepares a skin graft for the ear:: ah, forget about it. ::picks up the body and drops it in a nearby tank and turns a knob:: DoNotExist: Whut? Krissy 80: This should be more fun. DoNotExist: Oh... Krissy 80: ::strange bubbling eminates from the tub:: oh boy... Krissy 80: ::the gunk in the tub, the experimental goo, the skin grafts, and Renie all begin to create a chemical reaction:: ooh! Renie stew! DoNotExist: I want some. Krissy 80: It's alive!!!!! Krissy 80: alive, I say!!! DoNotExist: A..live? Krissy 80: this should work. you do defy all laws of science. ::the bubbling continues:: well??? DoNotExist: Ow. Krissy 80: do you live? DoNotExist: Fine... Krissy 80: or do we need a priest? DoNotExist: No, no, a nice ceramic bowl will be just fine. Krissy 80: ::wanders into the kitchen and finds a shiny red ceramic bowl:: DoNotExist: And a spoon, too. Don't forget a placemat. Krissy 80: okay, okay... ::runs backs to the kitchen and gets a shiny sterling silver spoon:: DoNotExist: eee! Krissy 80: okay? DoNotExist: yes, yes. Krissy 80: live!!! DoNotExist: Ok. Krissy 80: ::taps foot impatiently:: well???? DoNotExist: Fine... ::lives:: That better? Krissy 80: ::looks suspicious:: why are you still talking blue? DoNotExist: Well, I'm still kinda weak, but it's a darker blue now. See, I'm more alive. Krissy 80: oh. I see now. you live!! whee. DoNotExist: Where am I? Krissy 80: you're in the lab. in JLS HQ. DoNotExist: Why? Did I run out of time during physics again, and had to finish here? Krissy 80: no, you got shot. by Masochrist... and died. DoNotExist: Oh... DoNotExist: Masochrist? Krissy 80: Rob's ego. he killed Rob and then you. look, there's Rob's corpse over there... Krissy 80: isn't it pretty? DoNotExist: His ego is prettier... Krissy 80: isn't it? DoNotExist: ::dreamily::: Yeah... Waitaminute. He shot me. No. Bad ego. Krissy 80: yes. good ...girl? um.. Renie. DoNotExist: Dammit! That bastard killed me! DoNotExist: Where IS he?! DoNotExist: ::completely back to black now:: Krissy 80: he's supposed to be hunting interns with me. DoNotExist: Ooo... Interns. I like interns. We have interns? Krissy 80: according to him... DoNotExist: They're interning as prey for an over-ammoed ego? Krissy 80: ::shrugs:: all I know is that he wants to kill them and he gave me a really big gun! ::holds up a BFG:: DoNotExist: What happens to Rob, then? Krissy 80: I have no answers. DoNotExist: Fine. We hunt Masochrist. Krissy 80: yes. but He appears to be busy. DoNotExist: Fine. We hunt him later, get some answers. I gotta get a BFG of my own. Krissy 80: we have armory. DoNotExist: Cool. Krissy 80: ::points toward a battered wooden door:: there. take your pick. DoNotExist: I doan want a pick. I want a BFG. Krissy 80: fine, PICK any gun... DoNotExist: Ooh. This is a nice one. I can attach my keys to it, and it doubles as a remote, too! Krissy 80: ::channel changes:: hey! I was watching that! DoNotExist: Nice... ::runs her finger along the gun:: ::stands with legs wide apart, crouches a bit, and aims at the TV, trying to look as threatening as possible:: Now we watch what *I* want. DoNotExist: ::drops, rolls behind the couch, like the people on cop shows, and springs up, pulling the trigger, pointing at the TV:: DoNotExist: Ooops. DoNotExist: It wasn't set to remote control mode... Krissy 80: goddammit, we just bought that!!!! now you pay. DoNotExist: Um, I'll, erm, sweep that up... Krissy 80: ::beats Renie with the butt of her gun:: "better Renie", I think not! DoNotExist: Stop that! It's not MY fault this damn thing had no safety... Krissy 80: ::gives Reen one last kick and walks away:: DoNotExist: ::blocks with the sole of her boot:: Dammit... ::sigh:: I'll call and order a new TV... Krissy 80: now. I wanna watch Star Trek. DoNotExist: Should I go for the bulletproof screen? Krissy 80: yes. DoNotExist: It costs extra. DoNotExist: ::dials, gets put on hold. annoying music:: Krissy 80: dammit. ::sits on the couch and leans on the armrest:: DoNotExist: ::still on phone:: Hello! Welcome to our customer service hotline! If you would like to order one of our products, press 1. If you would like to get help with repairing a damaged product, press 2. For warranty information, press 2,5.. What the?... DoNotExist: Stay on the line to speak to a customer service representative. Krissy 80: two would have been good. ::flips through a copy of Time:: DoNotExist: No, I wanna talk to one of the little bastards. ::taps her foot impatiently:: Ok, got one! Krissy 80: yeah yeah... DoNotExist: Yes, hello, um, we need a new TV. Well, yes, under a year, but... Does it cover firearms? Krissy 80: it better. DoNotExist: ::presses mute on the phone:: Krissy, they'll replace it for free, but we have to tell 'em a burglar did it. Krissy 80: tell 'em Rob's ego did it. we're gonna have to kill him anyway. DoNotExist: ::un-mutes:: Yes, yes. ::recites address, phone number:: Yes, yes we would. How much extra? OK. ::recites social security number, organization name, credit card number, warrantee number, serial number in no particular order:: Krissy 80: ::looks over at Renie:: they gonna give it to us? DoNotExist: ::reci-:: Wait, what do my measurements have to do with this? I'll tell you Krissy's, though... Oh, the TV. A 36-inch, yes. Bulletproof. A free sample of batteries? that's sweet... DoNotExist: OK, send it over. DoNotExist: Four to six weeks? DoNotExist: %&%#@(&^&!!! Krissy 80: what????? DoNotExist: Krissy! You talk to him. DoNotExist: ::hands phone over:: Krissy 80: fine. ::grabs phone:: hello. yes. yes. yes. yes! yes!! yes!!! ::voice gets breathy:: oh, yes!!!! DoNotExist: ::looks at you questioningly:: Krissy 80: no. no. what? oh no you don't! well, %&$# and &*$$#*@&!!! am I gonna have to come down on you!?! am I?!? ::begins to curse into the phone with all the vulgarity of a sailor:: Krissy 80: oh really? well, try this!!!! ::bangs the phone repeatedly against the table... hard:: Krissy 80: howz that feel?! DoNotExist: Um, Krissy? DoNotExist: Here, try this. DoNotExist: ::hands her a whistle:: Krissy 80: ooh!!! ::blows the whistle into the phone:: ::pauses:: I think he hung up. no problem. ::uses the computer to redial that exact operator:: hello. ::smiles:: Krissy 80: well, baby... you know... Krissy 80: ::starts to talk breathy again:: Krissy 80: ::murmurs into the phone:: DoNotExist: Gods... Krissy 80: ::smiles, and hangs up the phone:: we'll get it in about 20 minutes. DoNotExist: ::awed:: How did you do--- DoNotExist: tha... Krissy 80: don't ask. excuse me. I need to take a shower. Krissy 80: ::runs into the bathroom, sound of water running:: DoNotExist: ::follows you, looking suspicious:: We're not getting any creepy electronics company operators visiting here, are we? ::Screams over noise of shower:: ARE WE?! Krissy 80: ::steps out of shower:: not at all. but we could always set up a 900 number. DoNotExist: ::indignantly:: We're superheroes, not a phone sex service! Krissy 80: there's a difference? DoNotExist: Yes. One makes me feel dirty, the other does too, but at least I get to be a BIT original in my inane ramblings. Krissy 80: ah. yes, the superhero biz can be quite repetitive. DoNotExist: Mmm. Krissy 80: never mind. we've no one to monitor the phones anyway. DoNotExist: Oh... Phew... Krissy 80: Look's like Rob's revving up again. Care to join us? DoNotExist: I supose..