DoNotExist: So, any leads in the Great JLS mystery? Krissy 80: no, not really. but we need to close up soon. it's getting... well.... too long. I mean, look... ::turns to audience, most of which got up to go to the restroom:: DoNotExist: Yes, but I kinda like this being on television thing. ::waves to the camera:: Krissy 80: Yeah, but I keep ripping out the camera in the bathroom, and someone keeps putting it BACK. DoNotExist: Oh. Just do what I do, throw a towel over the thing. A wet one. Krissy 80: yeah, but... WHERE are all the towels? DoNotExist: I dunno. I only use three per shower, but I re-use 'em. Krissy 80: three? DoNotExist: One for hair, one for body, and one to stand on. Oh, and one to throw over the camera. Krissy 80: so that's four. DoNotExist: Yes. But I use the same four up to three times. Krissy 80: and then what? DoNotExist: I throw them in the hamper. DoNotExist: I assume they get washed eventually? Krissy 80: we don't have a hamper. Krissy 80: I never bought one. DoNotExist: Then what's that Container-boxy thing in the bathroom? Krissy 80: Container box thingy? ::walks into bathroom:: hmm... ::sees what Renie was referring to, and peers at it:: I don't remember seeing this thing before... DoNotExist: ::follows her:: It's been here for, I dunno. Um. ::looks at the thing. thumps it with her knuckles:: Krissy 80: what IS this?? ::finds the little flap door and hits it. it swings back and forth:: You put the towels in here? DoNotExist: WEll, yeah. Krissy 80: ::tries to pull the top off the container, but to no avail:: damn. hey, you look inside. DoNotExist: No way. This is brown recluse season. They like dark, damp places. Krissy 80: trust me, you aren't moist enough. now go look. DoNotExist: The towels were! Krissy 80: well, someone has to look, and you're the one whose head has a better chance of growing back. DoNotExist: ...fine. ::pushes the flap:: Looks in, face about a foot away. Krissy 80: so..um... whaddya see? DoNotExist: Um. DArk stuff. Thingies. Eggs? Krissy 80: huh? lemmie see.. ::takes the plunger and pokes it inside. she waves it around, and it gets stuck on the inside with a sluurp sound:: dammit! ::pulls:: I can't get it loose! DoNotExist: ::Grabs the plunger, helps her pull:: Krissy 80: ::pulls even harder, because they can't afford a new plunger just yet:: this ain't working! I'm going in. ::her hands and head go into the hamper, while she pulls from the base of the plunger:: DoNotExist: NOOO!!!! ::gets hands around Krissy's waist, pulling her back:: Krissy 80: ::the plunger comes loose with a sluuurp sound:: hey! ::smacks at Renie:: it's fine in there. it's only a clandestine passage to the subterranean netherworld. DoNotExist: Really? Krissy 80: yeah, really. take a look. Krissy 80: it's neat. DoNotExist: My head won't fit if yours is in there. Krissy 80: well, it's not now, you pulled me out, oh person of short term memory. DoNotExist: Sig. Krissy 80: norse? DoNotExist: Mmm. Krissy 80: lookie. ::pushes the flap up and peers in:: DoNotExist: Oh, fine. ::looks in:: ::Comes up, blinks a lot.:: Jeez, you think the fire and sulforous smoke are 'cause of my soiled towels? I'm sorry... Krissy 80: actually... ::grabs renie and throws her in:: I have another idea. DoNotExist: Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!! DoNotExist: ::thunk:: Krissy 80: maybe that was a bit hasty of me. DoNotExist: ::stands up slowly, rubbing bruised buttocks:: DoNotExist: ::coughs a lot:: DoNotExist: Goddammit, I can't see through all the freakin' smoke. ::faces upward:: KRiiis!!! KRISS-SEEE!!!! Answer me, BIOTCH!! Krissy 80: ::runs and grabs her Pez gun, gets some tranq darts, a first aid kit and anti-cortizone cream from the medicine cabinet:: geron...imo? ::jumps in:: DoNotExist: ::steps aside as soon as she spots the plummeting object:: DoNotExist: 'lo there. Krissy 80: ::land hard on her feet:: ooo..ww!! damn boots! oh, hi. DoNotExist: ::coughs:: How are ya? Krissy 80: I'm freaky fine, man. Here's some cream. ::Hands Renie the tube of cream:: DoNotExist: No thanks. Krissy 80: Oh, fine then. Let's get crackin'. ::Tucks everything away into a handy little sack and looks around:: Reminds me of Bensonhurst. DoNotExist: ::whimpers discreetly:: Krissy 80: no, not really. Let us go forth and multiply. DoNotExist: You first. DoNotExist: What's 386 x 2,705? Krissy 80: okay... I didn't bring a calculator. DoNotExist: Sigh. Krissy 80: got milk? DoNotExist: I HATE FUCKING MILK!!!! DoNotExist: AND THE COWS THAT PRODUCE IT!!! Krissy 80: it was merely an expression. or... ::looks over and notices a herd of chocolate spotted cows headed their way:: I think they heard you. DoNotExist: I HATE milk. ::eyes widen suddenly,as a Barnes & Noble flashback ensues:: Would you like that large? Decaf? Skim? Espresso? Scone? Fellatio? ::facing the cows, blindly:: That's be two thirty-nine, thank you, here's your receipt... Krissy 80: hrm? DoNotExist: I said a CAPpucCINo! Hurry up, we've got a line! DoNotExist: Fingers twitch erratically over the keyboard of an imaginary cash register:: Krissy 80: can I just have an apple juice? DoNotExist: In the beverage case. That'll be 1.33. Krissy 80: fine fine. ::pulls out wallet:: I have a dollar.. and two quarters... DoNotExist: ::takes the money:: Here's your... CHANGE!!! CHANGE!!! I have no change! I must get change! :cries:: Oh god, why must you deprive me of change??? ::collapses:: Krissy 80: um... the cows are waiting. DoNotExist: ::blinks. gets up:: Um. Why are there cows here? Krissy 80: I don't know, maybe they heard you. DoNotExist: Cows do not understand English. Krissy 80: you'd be surprised. these are subterranean netherworld chocolate cows. DoNotExist: Are THEY the ones responsible for the sulfurous fumes? Krissy 80: ::shrugs:: I don't think so. in fact, it's starting to smell rather Hersheyish. DoNotExist: No... Krissy 80: take that out! ::pulls the inhailer away from Renie:: DoNotExist: In-ha-ler? DoNotExist: ::weakly:: Krissy 80: geez. ::takes the inhailer and waves it in front of Renie:: DoNotExist: ::eyes follow:: What? Krissy 80: you want? DoNotExist: No? Krissy 80: you sure you don't want this? I could just get rid of it... DoNotExist: Blurf. DoNotExist: I have lost the will to live. Krissy 80: ::squirts Renie with the inhailer:: DoNotExist: Stop. Krissy 80: dammit. ::throws the inhailer down the passageway:: let's go.