DoNotExist: I need stimulation. Warching: ?! Warching: I'm not really into that. Warching: Sorry. DoNotExist: Want to become an honorary member of the JLS for a few minutes so that I can beat the bloody hell out of you in my superhero guise? Warching: Why not? Warching: Who the hell am I? DoNotExist: You Joe. Me Renie. ::clubs you over the head with big-ass Cloud-y sword and drags you to the JLS headquarters by the hair:: Warching: That was rather enjoyable. Warching: Can you sever my genitalia next time? DoNotExist: ::kicks you in the rids:: Good morning. Warching: I could use that. DoNotExist: ribs... Warching: As I said, I slept through Japanese. Warching: I told my roommate to do almost the same thing but he didn't. DoNotExist: You're not supposed to be enjoying this. DoNotExist: ::kicks you again:: DoNotExist: C'mon, beg for mercy. Warching: ::Still manages to churn out a couple bars of Leo Brouwer's Etudes in with his blood drenched hands:: DoNotExist: Sigh. ::bends down, grabs your collar and drags you to the lab:: Warching: I have a collar? Warching: On a t-shirt? DoNotExist: ::snaps one on:: And what a wondrous thing it is. Warching: Kinky. Warching: Can I get a penis-ring too? DoNotExist: ::presses a button on the remote, causing the collar to send a painful jolt of electricity through your body:: If you're good. Warching: Wow. Warching: I can feel my neurons. Warching: Is that possible? DoNotExist: ::flips a switch:: ::sound of something big powering up:: DoNotExist: *I* will ask the questions here. Warching: But you're not German! DoNotExist: ::looks at you:: What has THAT got to do with anything? Warching: You have to say "Vee have vays of making yoo talk." Warching: Besides, it's a thing. Warching: Anyone in my family can only be assaulted by Germans. Warching: My roommate is discussing his anal tenseness. Warching: He claims my other roommate couldn't even rape him. DoNotExist: That's it. I thought we'd have a nice torture session and relieve some stress, but you're enjoying this far too much. You will now be raped by eight scotsmen and a militant lesbian. DoNotExist: ::goes into the other room to place a call:: Warching: Can't the lesbian rape the Scotsmen without my help? Warching: I'm still working on Kevin's anal tenseness. DoNotExist: ::pokes head in lab briefly:: Psst! This is when you make your escape attempt. Warching: Freedom! Horrible horrible freeedom! Warching: ::Runs buck-naked through streets:: DoNotExist: My God. WHat terrible evil have I unleashed? Warching: Nothing worse than that survey I wrote. Warching: At least I haven't mentioned Clitoral Piercings yet. Warching: Wait... Warching: just did. DoNotExist: Fiend! Warching: NOW you've let loose evil. DoNotExist: ::straps on several BFGs, runs after him:: Warching: Where did you put them? Warching: ::Shouldn't have asked...:: DoNotExist: Oh no. He's got access to the surveillance cameras! Warching: Only the ones in the bathroom. DoNotExist: Why oh why were we too cheap to install better access protection that last incident? Warching: I sell the tapes on the net. DoNotExist: It's been done. Warching: JLS-voyeur o' vision. DoNotExist: WE're the REal World , remember? Warching: Oh yeah. Warching: That's odd. Warching: I always thought the real world was the one with all the lima beans. DoNotExist: ::makes her way to the room with all the monitors, staying out of camera view:: DoNotExist: Your ass is mine, clitoral piercing boy. Warching: ::sits and watches cameras while playing with himself in a monkey-like fashion:: DoNotExist: ::Creeps along walls and secret passages:: Warching: ::Continues clutching genitalia. Begins to pick nose.:: DoNotExist: ::kicks down the door to the control room, points two BFGs at Jackin' Joe:: Hello. Warching: Good Morning! Warching: How's the lemur? Warching: ::Does handstand on penis:: Warching: That's technically not a handstand then is it? DoNotExist: ::Joe falls to the floor, as his penis is shot from under him:: Warching: Damn. Warching: I knew I should have gotten the bulletproof model. DoNotExist: Well, it's not like it was much of a fall... ::fires some more in his general direction:: Warching: Can't...stop...doing the monkey... DoNotExist: ::BLAM BLAM BLAM:: Warching: ::does monkey:: Warching: Without a torso. Warching: Simpsons references defy death! DoNotExist: Wait, he's still wearing the collar! ::bzzzzz!!!:: ::fried Joe:: Warching: ::Sizzles a bit:: DoNotExist: Leaves for a second, comes back with a large plastic garbage bag, where she puts Joe's remains:: I guess I should let TBD play with this... Warching: ::Squelches:: DoNotExist: ::kicks the bag:: Watch it. Warching: What? Warching: I don't have eyes. DoNotExist: ::Carries it back to the lab, secures it with a twist tie:: DoNotExist: You're dead. Don't talk. ::gives the bag another kick:: Warching: ::Continues squelching in lieu of actual speech:: DoNotExist: She's coming, you know, Warching: ::SQuelch?:: Warching: ::Squelches out the odd little ending of Leo Brouer's Etudes Simples::