DoNotExist: ::walks up, whistling:: Hey. Krissy 80: ::stares at the FILA logo on Renie's shirt:: sell out. DoNotExist: ::looks down, shrieks in terror, and rips the thing off:: HOw? WHat?!! What're you talking about?! Krissy 80: ::looks at Renie, amused:: hey, there's one on your bra too.... Krissy 80: I suggest you don't rip that off. Krissy 80: this *IS* a PG-13 log, after all... DoNotExist: That's the brand. " Lovable. " So THERE. And I'm not giving you a free show! DoNotExist: Hmph. What's YOUR problem? Krissy 80: ::squints at it:: it says "FILA." DoNotExist: It does not, what the hell are you talking about? Krissy 80: look at it! DoNotExist: Oh, that's just a coffee stain. I just came from work. Krissy 80: yeah, right. what, you run around work in your bra? you just won't admit it because even you have decency. DoNotExist: No, I don't get good enough tips for that. But the stuff sprays everywhere, it goes through the shirt. Krissy 80: whatever. you still sold us out. Krissy 80: I wonder if Rob noticed... DoNotExist: ::looks puzzled:: Honestly, what the hell are you talking about? If this is about me stealing your underwear and selling to comic shops, well, umm... DoNotExist: It was Rob's idea. YEah, that's it. He's the one who stole 'em. DoNotExist: I just provided the PR. Yeah. Krissy 80: excuse me???? ::looks down, then pulls the wasteband of her pants out a bit:: holy shit!!! where the hell my underwear go??? Krissy 80: I need it! where else will I put the pantyliners??? Krissy 80: ::grabs Renie:: I don't wanna go commando! DoNotExist: It generates tons of revenue for our group, plus publicity! The ones with your name written in 'em are especially popular. Umm... You kinda don't have any pantyliners, either... DoNotExist: ::pulls head into shoulders, cringing:: Krissy 80: um... I don't write my name in my underwear!!! ::throws Renie against the wall and runs off to her dresser to look for underwear:: DoNotExist: Well, the signature on your contract was really easy to copy... DoNotExist: ::rubbing hurt back:: Krissy 80: ::looks up from digging through drawers:: what contract? I haven't signed anything! DoNotExist: What?! *I* had to sign a contract! ROB!!!! DoNotExist: Where is he?! Krissy 80: ::pushes aside a stack of socks:: hey, wait a minute... ::pulls out a stack of clean panties:: if you sold my underwear, what the hell is this? Krissy 80: ::runs into bathroom to put them on:: DoNotExist: ::raises head slowly, eyes wide in horror and realization:: DoNotExist: ::dashes to own dresser:: DoNotExist: That motherfucker! All I have left with is men's now!! How can I be androgynous if I wear only men's underwear! Son of a... Krissy 80: ::yells from bathroom:: and who took my underwear off??? ::pulls off carpenter pants:: wait a minute... I'm wearing a g-string. Krissy 80: why am I wearing a g-string...? DoNotExist: ::shudders at the image mometarily:: DoNotExist: I dunno, why? Krissy 80: ::thinks about it:: oh, now I remember. It was the only clean pair. ::puts on normal, cotton Jockeys and walks out of the bathroom:: Sorry. Didn't mean to yell. And that stolen underwear thing is just too bad. Krissy 80: sucks to be you. DoNotExist: WEll, I'm mad. That was MY underwear! DoNotExist: MY personal propertty! DoNotExist: I feel so violated!! Krissy 80: when do you don't? DoNotExist: And there I was, carrying those packages off to the shops, mentally complimenting you on your taste in undergarments.. Krissy 80: you still can. look at this polka dot pattern! Krissy 80: ::turns to show her:: Krissy 80: it's pointillistic. DoNotExist: Yech. No where near as elegant as my simple solids. DoNotExist: Your butt? Krissy 80: I have those too. Look! ::pulls out black, navy blue, light blue:: Krissy 80: and no, the underwear! DoNotExist: Nice.... ::touches the fabric lightly, takes it from her hands:: Krissy 80: see? ::tugs on it:: DoNotExist: Hey, you look about my size... Umm, would you... I mean, can I.. Er... I don't mean to sound like a pervert or anythinig, but may I get into your panties? Krissy 80: you ARE a pervert. you can't sound like anything else. and not to sound like a horny lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that), you can get into my panties. ::hands Renie the black ones:: and..um... I don't really want them back. really. DoNotExist: Thanks... I know we'll just come out of this experience close to each other. Now let's go kill Rob. Krissy 80: Hey, hey, I don't go for those back door shenanigans! I mean, murder is bad... DoNotExist: Yes. But he stole our uderwear! WEll, my underwear. But he told me it was your underwear. Krissy 80: and why should I help you??? DoNotExist: Because he's keeping all the profits from the sold underwear in his bank account. Krissy 80: But you're keeping the profits from all the stupid logo placement. ::looks around the room, and studies an ad for Trojan Condoms:: that really *must* go. it clashes with the rug. DoNotExist: Jeez, what are you talking about? You've been mentioning this all night, what the hell is going on? Krissy 80: ::grabs Renie's fragile skull and directs toward the corporate logos that line the walls of the HQ:: what do *those* look like??? DoNotExist: Um, corporate logos. Why? DoNotExist: Was it career day and I missed it? Krissy 80: Did it ever occur to you that as a ::ahem:: superheroic institution, we are required to abide by a particular moral code? DoNotExist: Sure, but we get to make up our own and alter it at will. Krissy 80: well, yeah. of course. ::grabs Renie again:: are you aware that one of the dictums was "Do not sell out to da man?" DoNotExist: What man? DoNotExist: You mean, like when you engaged in phone sex with that sleazy electronics store guy?? Krissy 80: you know, the man man. authority. the oppressors... and he wasn't sleazy!!! he was just... very, very, lonely. DoNotExist: As were you, I gather. DoNotExist: Oppressors? DoNotExist: ::doesn't get this at ALL:: Krissy 80: oh, you know... the white male oppressors. adults, I guess. the man!!! and you sold out to them!!! ::runs into office, frantically pulling papers out of a filing cabinet, looking for the contract:: ah, here it is! Krissy 80: see? DoNotExist: ::peers at the papers. much small print:: What? Krissy 80: It says they can do whatever they want with the HQ! I'd be surprised if they don't "Real World" us and broadcast the security tapes! uh oh.... ::turns on the new bulletproof wide screen TV:: DoNotExist: Wait... So what you mean to say is ::very slowly:: someone sold the rights to the JLS to major corporations? But why? And for how much? Krissy 80: What, you don't know? I mean, your name IS on the contract.. see? ::holds out the sheet to Renie:: Krissy 80: ::flips the TV channel to see the two of them with an unconscious Rob:: oh.. shiiiiiit..... DoNotExist: Um... That's not my name. Some dickmunch misspelled it. It's Irena, not Irina, contrary to popular belief. DoNotExist: I think I might know who is behiond this... DoNotExist: Just think for a second: Who do we know that is a notoriously bad speller? DoNotExist: ::voice is hushed, penetrating:: Krissy 80: bad speller? um, aren't we all? DoNotExist: It's a great conspiracy! DoNotExist: Then we are all suspects. Except me. It stands to reason that I can spell my own name. Krissy 80: hey, I am innocent!!! ::scream to the heavens:: why God, why!!! Krissy 80: ::stops suddenly:: hey, I can spell your name. DoNotExist: Just imagine, the people watching us on TV right now are probably placing bets on who really did it. DoNotExist: ::blinks. dashes to her room and putsa a shirt on:: Yeesh. Krissy 80: my God, look, look... ::the television shows the pair playing dress-up with Rob:: it's the missing security tapes! Krissy 80: ::runs after her and drags her out again:: look.. ::the channel shows the entire Masochrist incident:: Krissy 80: do you know what *that* means??? DoNotExist: That I can never pick my nose agin, except at night, under the covers, untill we get rid of these bugs? Krissy 80: um, do the words "Masochrist" "murder" and "us" have any meaning to you? Krissy 80: in that order??? DoNotExist: But isn't he dead? Besides, he likes you. Krissy 80: I know, I know.. but you forget, he's merely an anthropomorphic personification. he comes when needed. and if he doesn't, I'm sure Rob can do it on his own... Krissy 80: lets hope he isn't watching this... DoNotExist: But why? I mean, I understand the underwear and the advertising contracts, we're all broke here, but why kill us? Krissy 80: we're assuming all of this IS Rob at work... or rather, you're assuming... DoNotExist: I'm not assuming, I'm trying to figure this out. Damn, I knew I shouldn't have wasted my time on Stephen King while all the other nerds were reading mystery novels. Krissy 80: ::hands Renie some Charlie Chan novels and runs off to the lab:: Now where did I put that... aha! ::pulls out her Agatha Christie Lil' British Detective Kit:: DoNotExist: Um. Krissy 80: we'll cover all grounds! we'll look high and low! we'll look IN the High and Low! we will solve this mystery, within a convenient 45 period! (Plus 15 minutes of commercials) DoNotExist: All that, and more, on the next Adventures of JLS!