F T F O I: ::bangs on the window of her taxi:: DoNotExist: ::signals cabbie NOT to lower window:: F T F O I: ::mouths slowly:: GET OUT OF THE CAR DoNotExist: ::aggrivatedly steps out:: YES? F T F O I: what are you doing in Australia? DoNotExist: I could ask you the same question, mister...wait... what AM I doing in Australia? F T F O I: and you were just gonna let that cabbie keep on driving you around the Outback! DoNotExist: the last thing I remember was a dream...then I woke up in the cab I swear! F T F O I: well, I'm busy lookin' for Krissy. Wanna help? DoNotExist: all right. F T F O I: about how fast can you travel? DoNotExist: about as fast as a kangaroo with a flaming magnesium strip tied to its tail. F T F O I: good, then I'll just slow down a little, or will you lend me your body so that we don't have any problems with matching pace? DoNotExist: okay. where's that kangaroo? F T F O I: forget the kangaroo. we're on foot. ::attaches self to her thoughts:: DoNotExist: I never figured you for an animal rights activist...but whatever. F T F O I: ::telepathically:: ::mind if I scan you for something I might not know?:: DoNotExist: stay away from unrelated stuff. F T F O I: right.. ::scans her quickly:: Viacom! holy shit, that's right....she's their royalty, right? Well then I don't think she's in Australia at all, I haven't seen a sign of any other Viacomese. DoNotExist: what does that have to do with anything? F T F O I: she's their Queen or whatever...she'd have an entourage. DoNotExist: let's just stick to the mission: find Krissy. F T F O I: That's the point. If we find the entourage, she'll be there. Since these people are a large group, it's easier than tracking just one JLSer! DoNotExist: I guess we should look in a hospital or something... F T F O I: believe me, ritual sacrafice will have nothing to do with hospitals...in fact, we should look somewhere without much police force and less stringent laws about murder, sacrifices and the like... DoNotExist: New York? F T F O I: no, she couldn't be in New York, could she? DoNotExist: Knowing Krissy and her, ahem, health problems? F T F O I: and, since she won't be near any hospitals, if she IS still in New York, then she's in danger of dying any minute... DoNotExist: YES! F T F O I: but what happens if the Viacomese don't know how to treat her and she dies before the ritual? WHERE do you suppose they'll look for answers? F T F O I: I'll give you a hint, it starts with "JLS" and ends with "Headquarters" DoNotExist: Mmm. Hey, can you hold a camera? F T F O I: no, I'm not corporeal, remember? DoNotExist: Dammit. I wanted some pictures of me with the local fauna before we left. F T F O I: Do you have a return ticket to New York? DoNotExist: Um. F T F O I: you DO have a return trip... DoNotExist: Presumably. I hope. Maybe. Um. ::begins methodical search through various pockets:: F T F O I: you look. I'll head back to HQ and see if I can dig up any more Viacomese. DoNotExist: Change, ticket stub, car keys, wallet, condom--I mean, condiment, look, it's a packet of mustard, how'd that get there, cheese wheel, um... No ticket. F T F O I: I'll see if we have enough in the expense account to bail you out then. hang on. DoNotExist: Fine then. ::begins to munch on the cheese:: F T F O I: ::returns to New York at the speed of thought:: F T F O I: ::dashes into the room through the wall:: JOE!!! Do you know anything about the Viacomese? Warching: No. Warching: Nothing at all. F T F O I: do you know how to work the camera equipment? Warching: What camera equipment? F T F O I: any of it...whatever you find lying around. Warching: Have we got a quickcam and porn? F T F O I: it's important...I think the Viacomese have taken over New York subterraneally. See if you can confirm. Warching: I have no confirmation from my rodent brethren. Warching: Then again, they're too busy licking themselves. F T F O I: I also need a check on the expense account...are we still loaded from when they whored us out as the Real World? F T F O I: Reen needs a plane back from Australia... F T F O I: well, see what you can dredge up about the sewers, subway tunnels...I want to know WHY there's been so much construction work lately... F T F O I: I gotta head... F T F O I: ::darts out through the wall again, accelerating wildly:: Warching: You do that. F T F O I: ::rushes up and stops running:: F T F O I: okay...I've an idea... DoNotExist: Mmm? F T F O I: we search New York's subterrain. DoNotExist: Will there be rats? F T F O I: probably. DoNotExist: What are we waiting for, then? Let's go! F T F O I: you can't, remember? No ticket? DoNotExist: Oh. Um. Er. F T F O I: I'll go see if I can't take over someone who can fix that... DoNotExist: mm. F T F O I: ::searches all over Australia for easily-duped travel agents:: F T F O I: ::makes reservations out to C.O.D.:: F T F O I: ::darts back:: F T F O I: here...go to the airport in sydney. DoNotExist: Yessir.