SERLIN DEFEATS KNEHAN!
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Also rescues rider in spectacular midair piloting stunt!
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Knehan Missing, presumed dead!
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by Jiroc Lorrtan, INN Sports Correspondant

MALASTARE, Yik Arena

In a stunning upset today, a dilettante-turned-swoop racer named Orin Serlin defeated the top-ranked swoop racer on the Malastare Grand Circuit, Knehan Morynu in the final race of the three-day Grand Tour of Racing here at the Yik Arena. Apparently making a small fortune on Kneehan during the previous two days, Mr. Serlin arranged with a Mr. Eeevaraku, owner of a small racing stable in the Industrial District of town, to be entered into the races the next day. A 100-1 underdog in his first race, he made the arena owner, Wodan Yik, even richer, when Mr. Yik made an apparently impromptu large bet on Mr. Serlin. Apparently Mr. Yik was so impressed with Mr. Serlin's race, that he engineered a race with his top swoop racer, Knehan Morynu for the last race of the day -- a 75 kilometer death-race to the finish with a death (and gravity) defying final jump at the end. The track statisticians didn't much care for Mr. Serlin's chances -- he was still 75-1 on the boards, despite winning his first race in a comfortable lead.

With 20 racers, it was a crowded field -- but all eyes were on the arranged match between the Dilettante and the Hometown Hero. Both Knehan and Mr. Serlin got a late jump out of the gate, but soon took to working together to pass the competition and prevent them from reclaiming their front positions. After the first two obstacles on the course, it was clear that this was going to be a photo finish race if ever there was one -- and you'd have never guessed that the photo would have needed to be taken at 5 km in the air and not at the finish line! Mr. Serlin took a nasty hit from an acid spray, but strangely the acid seemed to wash over the swoop without much effect. No swoop that small has a shielding device, so it's a testament to his skill that he managed to "thread the needle." Meanwhile, Knehan fared less well during his patented Knehan's Knees maneuver during a radiation trap. He may be blind, but he should have seen that one coming!

It was about this time that tragedy struck the arena -- an assassin, likely from a rival stable, made an assassination attempt on Mr. Yik. Sadly, they succeeded and killed Mr. Yik before injuring three of Mr. Yik's special guests for the day (see: INNFEED/Malastare/Obit/Yik). The names of those victims have been released as a Mr. Lotar and his daughter Millennia, as well as his bodyguard Krussik. No pictures are available of the injury victims, but accounts indicate that the dreaded Jedi may have been involved in the attack. Unknown persons with lightsabers, clearly not members of our glorious Sith Empire, were seen fleeing out of the arena along with the assassin. Several members of the crowd were injured by mysterious spores that seemed to infect the crowd at the same time as the dreaded Jedi appeared. Whether this means that the Jedi are trying to perfect a biological weapon to use on the planetary populations at this time is unclear.

During the orderly exit of the arena, they missed perhaps the greatest swoop stunt in the history of the Malastare Grand Circuit, and the most sportsmanlike act that this reporter has ever seen! During the last jump of the race, nicknamed "Final Jump" by the participants due to the excessive amount of fatal crash injuries that it causes and the near-hyperspace-like speeds attained, Knehan began to lost control of his bike. It seemed as if Mr Serlin did as well as he appeared to lose control and drop speed, but this turned out to be a seemingly-intentional act. During the entire jump, even when losing control, the cameras showed Knehan to still be the epitome of grace and control -- and then he fell off his racer. Mr. Serlin, aware of his fellow racer's plight, in mid-flight calmly pulled out a device of some sort and lassoed Knehan with unerring accuracy. It was like I was back on Umgul covering the blob races -- some of those Ugnaughts were masters of the lassoing for blob herding! Mr. Serlin swung Kne han under the racer, allowed him to climb up, finished the jump and they finished the race together.

It would appear that Mr. Serlin is also a citizen of our Grand Lord Daedon's empire, and there are whispers that Mr. Serlin dedicated his victory in the races "for Daedon." If that's so, we should honor him for his unswerving dedication and loyalty to one of the Great Rulers of the Empire!

Sadly, there are unconfirmed reports that Knehan has gone missing. Officials speculate that whomever the assassin was that killed Wotan Yik, they may have been after Knehan as well. Sabotage of the swoop racer in likely as Knehan has never lost control of a racer before, and only the timely interference from Mr. Serlin saved Knehan at that time. Sadly, it may have been too little, too late. The Imperial Security Bureau is expected to release a statement suggesting that they believe the Jedi to have killed Knehan, along with Mr. Yik, with the aid of another, unspecified assassin. This is a sad day for swoop racing, and -- indeed -- a sad day for all of Malastare.

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