COMICS CULTURE SHRAPNEL from CBEM 388

Bad Hollywood, Bad!

I think I said I was going to write more reviews this week of the stuff I bought at SPX. However, I put them away and have neither the time to find them or read them. But other things have been happening, which are more interesting anyway.

Mostly all this mess with Warner Brothers and whatever superhero movie they're planning to make next. And really this is confusing - first they make a big announcement about the Batman/Superman movie and having Wolfgang Petersen to direct and starring Colin Farrell and Jude Law star. And all seems well, despite the presence of the most cliche plot involving two different superheroes (misunderstanding leads to two different heroes believing the other is a villain, commence the pummeling, oops! you mean we're both good guys? Commence pummeling of a certified villain. Bah.) But then Jude Law refuses to sign a contract because... they wanted him to commit to sequels sight unseen (or rather, script unread). And because Jude actually has artistic integrity, he turned down the role rather than let himself be whored out to movies that could really suck.

I knew there was a reason I liked Jude Law. Oh wait, that was his good looks. And fine acting skill. Well, just add another reason to the list.

So there was some talk of Josh Hartnett stepping into the role... of Superman. Harry Knowles of Ain't It Cool News wrote a whole long thing to Josh wherein he proclaimed how cool Josh was, and how absolutely wrong he was to play the role. I have no idea what became of any of this, except that the project got scratched.

The Batman: Year One movie has been pushed up as a result, which is good, because they've got Darren Aronofsky at the helm and the man pulls no punches and I'm fairly sure he'll make us a good movie. They're trying their hand with a Superman movie, written by J.J. Abrams (creator of Felicity and Alias) and so far it doesn't sound too bad (I forget the plot of this one). But then I hear that they're getting Academy Award winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman to do some work on the script, and I start crying. Oh, I liked A Beautiful Mind well enough. But let us never forget that he also wrote Batman and Robin (or, as I like to call it, the worst piece of crap on God's Green Earth. That and the Star Wars Holiday Special).

Comic fans don't forget these things. We have long memories. Which the studios seem to lack, because in Hollywood, you are only as good as your last movie. I kinda wish A Beautiful Mind had never been made for this reason, well, also that Lord of the Rings probably would have gotten the Oscar like it deserved (and I'm backed up on the "deserved" issue by numerous critics).

I don't really think there's much to say. Obviously someone at Warner Brothers went stupid one day and everyone involved has completely chosen to forget they ever made a bad superhero movie (should I now bring up Superman III & IV???). They're currently getting their ass kicked by Marvel and its string of fantastic movies, you'd think someone would have taken the hint.

We could always boycott the movie when it finally comes out, but that isn't happening, not with us. Like the loyal fanboys we are, we'll show up at the theater and sit in our seats and shift uncomfortably as what's happening on the screen makes us uncomfortable. It's like church, except they make you pay to get in and them give you the option to buy overpriced popcorn.