Joe bugged me and asked me when I was finally going to put the survey up and release the next one. I told him this weekend. Wow, I'm actually doing it. I should be looking for work, though. But now, survey madness it is.
a) What's your favorite Crayola crayon color?
O. Jenkins:
Sepia
IISTaNII:
my favorite crayola color is blue-green
J. Loh:
Burnt Umber. Yes, I know it's retired, but it was umber in its time, and it was fucking burnt.
TwstedHero:
Those racist "Flesh" colored atrocities. It amused me even when I was little.
J. Weiss:
Salmon pink. It makes me hungry. Besides, I felt I should pay homage
to my little cousin, Dylan, who points to random things and says, "I
like it because it's pink." Her cuteness factor has been known to cause
cavities in lab rats.
A. Lozupone:
I have to pick one? No. I can't. It's impossible. I like many, many of
them. And what would anything be with only one Crayola crayon color, even
if it was a favorite? It would be boring and meaningless. All the colors,
with the exception of neons and bright colors should be included nearly
equally. Only black, purple and various anime hair colors should have any
prevalence whatsoever and, even then, it should be slight.
b) Name your favorite Samuel L. Jackson movie.
O. Jenkins:
The Great White Hype
IISTaNII:
my favorite samuel l. jackson movie is jackie brown
J. Weiss:
I don't really know too many Samuel L. Jackson movies. Pulp Fiction,
however, is a gift from God. Well, not really, or God would have a
pretty fucked up sense of humor. More likely the divine influence in
Pulp Fiction is from the little purple salamander who lives in my
underwear drawer and claims to be Lord of the Boxers.
TwstedHero:
Shoot me for being like everyone else, but I loved Pulp Fiction. Sorry I couldn't be more original.
J. Loh:
Well, my favorite Samuel L. Jackson movie would have to be Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Why? I have blind and unquestioning faith in George Lucas, all right? After I stopped believing in a just and righteous God, all that mental energy had to go someplace.
A. Lozupone:
Well now. This one's hard. I've only seen one. And you seem to be implying
an absolute favorite, which means it is under a completely
different subject than "what is your favorite Samuel L. Jackson
movie that you've seen". Not seeing all of them, I must remain undecided,
vague, and mysterious.
c) If you were to open a theme restaurant (ala Planet Hollywood, Hard Rock Cafe, All Star Cafe), what would be the theme? And how would you bring in the mindless droves? (advertising, location, celebrity endorsements, that sort of thing.)
O. Jenkins:
The theme would be trash talk shows. Every half hour "Jerry, Jerry,
Jerry" would start chanting over the public address system. This would be
the cue for all the people eating to pick up their chairs and food and
throw them at each other. The last person standing get their meal free.
J. Weiss:
Anime to Order. Sorry, I know it's not that great an idea. I've got
anime on the brain, and those sushi platters in Tenchi Muyo just look so
good... Besides, if the whole anime theme was kept up, I'd spend too
much time trying to have mad passionate sex with the waitresses to
manage the restaurant.
So, restaurant idea #2: Test Your Stomach. If it's lethal and tasty, you
can get it here! Billboards could show a steaming platter of vegetables
glowing an eerie green color, with a hand sprinkling something from a
salt shaker and the phrase, "It's Arsenicalicious!" in big red letters.
Location would have to be right next to a really expensive self-help
group, or therapist. Celebrity endorsement would be simple - a big
picture of the Spice Girls on the wall with the words "3 down, one of
them still hasn't eaten here."
A. Lozupone:
Oh this one's easy. It would be Penguin Universe, Penguinity, or something
along that line. How would I bring in the mindless drones? Unbrutal,
secret service, penguin force. I would have a crack troop of penguins,
number five or six, ready to invade the homes of those unwilling to visit
and cunningly persuade them to come. Most poeple will agree to talking
penguins. To bring in the drones with minds, I only have one answer. The
wonderful and utterly cute blue penguins. there would, of course, also be
robot penguins roaming the streets with flyers, signs, and billboards.
After all this is done and I have the resources, the second chain
resaurant comes into effect. The Baby Bonnie Hood Cafe. I doubt any
mindless drone would not want to go to this lovely establishment full of
uzis, flaming alcohol, and small dogs.
J. Loh:
Machiavelli's, for the diner who enjoys intrigue on the side!
The restaurant's seating would be shaped roughly in the form of the present-day nation of Italy, with each table representing a different fifteenth-century italian city-state. Each diner, upon entering the restuarant, would be given a paper replication of a period hat, a twelve-inch watered-steel stiletto, fifteen grams of arsenic, and ten swiss and german mercenaries. There would only be a certain, sharply limited amount of food served per night, and once seated, the only method of gaining more food is to destroy other tables and drive them from their seats by war, diplomacy, assassination, or acts of God such as the 8:00 happy hour, preceded by a short but fierce outbreak of bubonic plague.
Advertising would be much like that of medieval times, with the added concept of diner participation. You would see gallant florentine diners struggling against the evils of the Papal states, and the vicious struggle between Ghilbertines and Guelphs. As for location, due to stringent US health codes, I would have to locate the restaurant in Mexico, where anything goes. Or maybe the former soviet union. At any rate, somewhere with problems big enough that they don't worry about enforcing health laws, but not so big that the restaurant has to be defended with barbed wire and minefields, as that would ruin the atmosphere.
I think Mel Gibson would enjoy this kind of thing. So, yeah, I'd try to get an endorsement from him.
TwstedHero:
Apocalypse Chow! Traditional Vietnamese cuisine in a war torn village! Specialties include "Bomb on a Baby", succulent veal served with two halves of juicy pineapple, "Napalm -n- Shrapnel", traditional Vietnamese spicy veggie paste and all american corn chips, and "My Leg! Oh my God, My Leg!!", our chef's special, whole leg of goat served with house selection of spices and herbs. We use mind drugs on the droves of protesters we get to make them do what we say. Which is eat our food^_^ Try us once! We guarantee you'll wanna come back for a second tour!