Two parter here, just to give your gray matter a bit more exercise, now the scenario:

Despite switching to e-mail as your primary method of communication, you still check your mailbox every day to pull the assorted pieces of paper called "bills" that companies keep sending you in their plot to destroy your financial assets. Among the bills, magazines, and flyers for garage sales you also discover that through some interesting twist of fate, you've been placed on the mailing list for ACME catalogues (the online servers having predictably crashed, in true ACME style).

The catalogue is huge, a listing of every ACME product ever produced in their illustrious history (for over fifty years, the leader in creative mayhem), used by such luminaries like Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and their biggest customer, Wile E. Coyote (genius). As a first time customer and long time ACME fan, you're being treated with a gift certificate that allows you any item in the catalogue. So what do you choose?

In no time at all you recieve your order and finding yourself pleased by it (as much as you can get with ACME products at least, for over fifty years the leader in malfunctioning gadgetry), you become a regular customer, which is why in a few short months you open your mailbox to find...

The all-new 2000-01 ACME catalogue, showcasing products never seen before in Toontown or beyond. Given ample financial resources, what newly created ACME item will you order?


Justy Ueki Tylor:
I'd have to flip between the rocket skates or the Immodium Space Modulator w/Illudium Q-36. Rocket Skates because they're rocket skates, and the Modulator because it can blow you into 17,670,002 micro-cells. I wonder how many zlotniks it would take to buy these?

>The all-new 2000-01 ACME catalogue...
>What new item will you order?

A working umbrella.

Gygux:
You've watched that Tiny Toons movie too many times, but staying with that theme, i'll say, for A) -----A plot hole..... one day after sleeping til 4, i wake up and it's 10years later. I somehow finished college and moved on to open my own successful business......but it's an ACME plot hole, so it probably wouldn't work, and i'd have to get a more expensive one from Macy's or something....grrr

Now, for making up anything i want..... B) something that could turn cartoons into real people.....let them know what gravity is really like....tehehe

Matthew Nisinson:
ACME, wow, I've always wanted something of theirs, and since a friend of mine's birthday is in 4 days and I, being a lazy, apathetic good-for-nothing, have failed to acquire him a present as of yet. This is the perfect catalog for him, since his downstairs neighbors are a bunch of unruly yuppies, I order the giant catapult so that he can launch them into space, and hey, if it goes wrong in some way, what's the harm, it's ACME.

Getting the new catalog too! wow! but what to order, ah, the idea has come to me. I will be going to college upstate, and I won't be able to have a car till I get around to getting a license so I order the deluxe jet pack complete with velvet paracute(maybe it doesn't work so good, but it is stylish) real leather belts and straps, and running on pocket lint, which is the only thing I'll have in ready supply in college. I can't wait to test it out, maybe I should have bought the helmet too.... nah.

DJ Hangman:
Oh, to be young again, and with simple cares, simple desires.... a yard to play in, a bike to ride, and ACME Rocket-Powered Skates. Such are my dreams as I'm sure are the dreams of every small child who wasn't raised by some Red bastards attempting to undermine our fine, democratic country!

Being an "adult" now, I know better than to fear the communists. In fact, I know to laugh at their pathetic attempts to keep control of nations torn by internal violence. And I no longer want Rocket-Powered Skates, either. But an ACME Laser-Tennis set would be cool...

Koulikom:
So there I am, preparing to submerge myself in the wonder that is an ACME cataalog. ABBA Gold is on the stereo, and as I flip through the pages, I am amuzed by some items, horrified by others, and just totally confused by yet others. And then, one of the offerings sends a huge grin across my face, and a hand reaching for the checkbook. Here it is!

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, every single company sold only what it alone could produce. But that was a long time ago, and the modern age calls for something different. We here at ACME are proud to present the ACME Semiautomatic Mark XVII.2 SFAS (small furry animal-shooting) Crossbow This brilliant invention, a product of cooperation between ACME and such famous names in their respective fields as Microsoft, Gainax, and Stuyvesant High School, is the perfect personal weapon for the urban profesional! It has already sold over ten thousand utits, and has been approved for use by special forces in Myanmar, Monaco, and Tonga - the home of the .to domain name! The weapon includes a staggering array of features, together making it probably the most powerful (legal) killing technology on this planet!

  • firing speed of up to sixty small furry animals per minute
  • target acquisition system based on the TI-85 graphing calculator
  • optional "Mr. Geller" CBCOU (Carbon-Based Calculator Operating Unit) system
  • Microsoft Windows 3.1 operating system
  • 5-inch monitor
  • via a special offer to ACME customers only, 1 year of free AOL service
  • 56.6 kbps wireless modem
  • pre-installed Doom II game software
  • six flip switches allowing access to pre-selected small furry animals
  • seventh switch allowing access to ANY small furry animal existing on Earth EXCEPTIONS:
    a) cats are only considered small furry animals if under 6 months of age
    b) wolverines are only considered small furry animals if under 3 months of age
    c) Lum is NOT to be considered a small furry animal under any circumstances!
    d) via specially licensed technology, the use of Bun-Bun and Kiki as ammunition is allowed. However, Bun-Bun can only be used as a limit break, if the user has taken damage equal to 50% of his/her total HP. Kiki can be used as a level 2 limit break (after 80 kills have been achieved with the Mark XVII.2), and only after the user has taken damage equal to 90% of his/her total HP.
    e) due to a special relationship between ACME and Mr. Anno Hideaki, Pen-Pen has been temporarily designated a small furry animal. However, any damage incurred by Pen-Pen while fired may lead to 3d Impact being triggered immediately.

  • and last but never least, immediate and uninterruptable uplink to hammerspace

    All this can be yours for ONLY $499.99 + S&H"

    (And, since I'm f-ing tired of having to fix my bike all the time, the first thing I ever ordered from ACME was a pair of rocket skates) ^^ [I also wanted to insert Geobreeders and political science references into here, but i don't have enough time. So I guess Squaresoft, Eva, Stuy and AOL should be enough...)

    FeyPiper:
    I go for the rocket-powered skates like a shot. No more boring gasoline-fueled transportation for me! No sir, I'm for solid fuel and the open road, in my stylish WWI flying ace goggles, catching bugs in my teeth and sending shock waves rattling across the Nevadan mesa.

    And from the 2000-2001 catalogue, I of course choose... you, Pikachu!

    No, just kidding. I buy the Radio-Controlled Jackie Chan! Better! Faster! Stainless steel! Able to do more of his own stunts and crawl away than the real article! Controlled by handy r/c pack, will never question your orders to kill without mercy or hurl itself between you and an impending dynamite explosion!

    * Fully Adjustable Independent Front Suspension!
    * Dual Servo Kung Fu!
    * Tubular Steel Front Control Arms!
    * Double Sealed Hapkido Throughout!
    * Kydex Front Bumper! (Great for drunken master techniques!)
    * Dual Inboard Camlock Disc Brakes
    * Adjustable Heavy Duty Shocks

    With 150cc engine................(Approximate Speed 200-210 mph).....................$1595.00

    Robo-Jackie: Friend, Bodyguard, Obedient minion.